AWIICTOATWTH

What the hell?! (in limerick)

2006-08-12T10:09:00.000-04:00

Outside of my bedroom and alls,
These people are hamm'ring the walls
I could tell them to stop,
Or I could just drop
My air condish right on their balls.

It's not like I'm helping my case;
My computer's right next to the place
But could I just slay
Them with pepper spray
Or take to their eyes with mace?

Won't you join me?

2006-08-09T17:35:00.000-04:00

Come on. Sign up! You know you want to!

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, see post below.

(I just ended five clauses with prepositions and have no intention of fixing them. Damn me.)

Seems I've won a contest.

2006-08-05T12:46:00.000-04:00

The "crazee" contest. And now I'm supposed to host this "crazee" contest. So. Here's the deal.

You sign up for the "crazee" contest. Deadline for sign-ups is August 9th, at noon-oh-five eastern time.

Then I give you your "crazee" sentence and your "crazee" item. You must write a "crazee" short story or a "crazee" song that uses the sentence and somehow involves the item. Stories and songs are due a week later, August 16, at 2359 eastern time.

Sign up sign up sign up! You have days!

-edit-

So I did. The contest was created by Money Miss Money Miss Money Miss Money Miss MONEY MISS!!!

"King of the Road" by Roger Miller

2006-08-04T14:38:00.000-04:00

Trailer for sale or rent
Rooms to let...fifty cents.
No phone, no pool, no pets
I ain't got no cigarettes
Ah, but..two hours of pushin' broom
Buys an eight by twelve four-bit room
I'm a man of means by no means
King of the road.

Third boxcar, midnight train
Destination...Bangor, Maine.
Old worn out clothes and shoes,
I don't pay no union dues,
I smoke old stogies I have found
Short, but not too big around
I'm a man of means by no means
King of the road.

I know every engineer on every train
All of their children, and all of their names
And every handout in every town
And every lock that ain't locked
When no one's around.

I sing,
Trailers for sale or rent
Rooms to let, fifty cents
No phone, no pool, no pets
I ain't got no cigarettes
Ah, but, two hours of pushin' broom
Buys an eight by twelve four-bit room
I'm a man of means by no means
King of the road.

Hello.

2006-07-31T03:37:00.000-04:00

Today I am going to make an entry that is over three lines, per request. My name is Erik Agard. I am an unfortunate scholar snared in the malicious traps of Montgomery County Public Schools, an organization that is clearly conspiring against the year of 2011. Right now I am sitting half-naked on my creaky computer chair listening to country music and making this entry. Gee do ya think we're over three lines yet? I'm not sure, maybe I should continue. The Yankees finally made the deal for Bobby Abreu and Cory Lidle official yesterday; they sent C.J. Henry, Matt Smith, and two other prospects to the Phillies in return for those two players. This deal did not particularly please me, but I was extremely relieved that Steven White (the immediate pitching future for the Yankees) was not included in the deal. I guess Brian Cashman might know what he's doing after all. Today, in all likelihood, I will visit a supermarket. Hopefully I will find the will somewhere in myself to put on a shirt before I do that. Do you think that's enough? I do. Bye now.

Wait.

2006-07-30T03:51:00.000-04:00

All we can do is wait.

The search continues.

2006-07-28T05:16:00.000-04:00

What was it they said in Peanuts?

"Good grief!"

Oh, and,

"Bleah!"

Bad Idea Corporation

2006-07-24T23:15:00.000-04:00

I have begun the search for a spokesperson for the Bad Idea Corporation.

Also, I've developed a prototype for our first product, the name of which will be unveiled in our first commercial.

Hello.

2006-07-22T23:46:00.000-04:00

Hello, I'm Erik Agard, welcome to my blog.